Jesus and His Mother
David C. Myers
May 10, 2009
Mother's Day
I John 4:7 - 12, 16b, 19 -21
Luke 2:41 - 52
John 2:1 - 12
Matthew 12:46 - 50
John 19:25b - 27
Text: "Jesus replied, 'Who is My mother, and who are My brothers?'" . . . Mt. 12:48
When I was an undergraduate student at West Virginia Wesleyan College, every time I returned home, I drove through Grafton, West Virginia. And every time I drove through Grafton, I saw the billboard that proclaimed Grafton as the birthplace of Mother's Day.
And, oh, how Mother's Day has grown since its humble beginnings in Grafton, West Virginia. Just as "I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas" aspires to the status of a Christmas Carol, to be considered on a par with "Silent Night" and "Joy to the World", so Mother's Day clamors for religious recognition, to be hailed as an official day on the church calendar.
A brave preacher might try to buck the tide. I know this all too well. I once tried to be a brave preacher. Twenty-five years ago I was the Chairperson of the Southern New England Conference Camps and Conferencing Committee. It happened at Annual Conference. I was on the floor of Annual Conference giving our Annual Report. In it was a recommendation that we set aside the second Sunday in May as Camps and Conferences Sunday and ask that all our churches take a special offering to help underwrite those special ministries. Someone on the floor of Conference floor reminded me - rather sternly - that the second Sunday of May is Mother's Day. I quickly responded that Mother's Day was not a religious holiday. I was roundly booed by about 900 people. I have had a certain reluctance to speak on the Conference Floor ever since.
I've learned my lesson about Mother's Day. On this Mothers' Day I have chosen to be smart.
Today I heed the old Jewish proverb, "God could not be everywhere, and therefore God made mothers."
The relationship between Jesus and His mother Mary is hardly your everyday mother-son relationship, but it has struck me that four episodes in their life together reveal something of importance for us to consider on the Mother's Day.
1.) The first episode is the story of Joseph and Mary returning to Jerusalem to find their 12-year-old boy.
Every year the parents of Jesus went to Jerusalem for the Feast of the Passover. The year when Jesus was twelve, they went up for the Passover as usual. When the days of the Feast were over, Mary and Joseph started back home. But the boy Jesus stayed behind in Jerusalem without His parents knowing it, for they assumed He was with their caravan.
After a day's journey, they began looking for Him among their relatives and friends. When they couldn't find Him, they returned to Jerusalem to look for Him there. Three days later, they found Him. He was in the temple, sitting among the teachers, listening to them and asking them questions. All who heard Him were astounded at His understanding and His answers.
When His parents saw Him, they were astonished; and His mother said, "Child, why have You done this to us? Your father and I have been searching for You with great anxiety." Jesus said to them, "Why were you searching for Me? Didn't you know I must be in My Father's house?" But His parents didn't understand what He meant.
Then Jesus went down with them to Nazareth, and was obedient to them. His mother Mary carefully kept all these things in her heart. And Jesus grew in years and in favor with other people and with God. . . . Luke 2:41 - 52
This event gives a clue of both Jesus' childhood and the parenting He received from Mary and Joseph. There are always testing moments between child and parent; and the incident at the temple is one of those.
Describing Mary and Joseph, Luke writes, "they assumed He was with the caravan, and it was only after a day's journey that they went back to look for Him among their friends and relatives." Hmmm, it only took them a day to realize He wasn't going home with them?? Not trying to be condemning of their parenting and instead being charitable I will say that clearly Joseph and Mary gave their son a commendable amount of independence - especially for a twelve-year-old.
Now, Debbie and I have been parents of 12-year-olds; and, as such are certainly aware of the tensions that exist between dependence and independence. So we understand when Mary, having found her son, burst out, "Child, why have you done this to us? You father and I have been searching for you with great anxiety." As a matter of fact I think Mary showed great restraint, especially after looking for three days! I suspect Debbie and I might have substituted other words for Mary's choice of "great anxiety." But I'm not going there!
And, in response, Jesus shows amazing independence for a lad of His age. In His answer there is not a trace of guilt. In fact, to listen to Him, it was all their fault! There is even a hint of blame in Jesus voice: "Why were you searching for Me? Didn't you know I must be in My Father's house?" It's as if Jesus is asking, "I've been with you 12 whole years, and you haven't noticed anything special? How I love to read and argue about Scriptures? Have you forgotten that I have a heavenly as well as an earthly father?" It's as if Jesus is saying to Mary, "I'm loaned treasure, mom. I'm very happy to be on loan to you, but I belong to God, Who has in mind for Me things beyond any you could dream of."
And Mary, with more grace than we can imagine, did not say, "Don't be fresh; mother knows best. Hush your mouth!" No, while she didn't understand, she kept an open mind and a good memory. As Luke records, "His mother Mary carefully kept all these things in her heart."
How rare is the person who realizes that you can learn more if you don't try to understand too soon. How rare is the parent who can open a discussion without closing it. How rare are the parents who allow their children their own thoughts and dreams.
And how rare are the children who can voice their expectations for their parents as readily as parents can voice theirs for their children. From this episode we would have to conclude that mother and son are off to a good start.
2.) For the second episode we discover in John's Gospel the influence a mother can have even on the One Who can work miracles. It has to do with when Jesus would begin His ministry:
On the third day there was a wedding in Cana of Galilee, and the mother of Jesus was there. Jesus and his disciples had also been invited to the wedding. When the wine gave out, the mother of Jesus said to him, 'They have no wine.' And Jesus said to her, 'Woman, what concern is that to you and to me? My hour has not yet come.' His mother said to the servants, 'Do whatever he tells you.' Now standing there were six stone water-jars for the Jewish rites of purification, each holding twenty or thirty gallons. Jesus said to them, 'Fill the jars with water.' And they filled them up to the brim. He said to them, 'Now draw some out, and take it to the chief steward.' So they took it. When the steward tasted the water that had become wine, and did not know where it came from (though the servants who had drawn the water knew), the steward called the bridegroom and said to him, 'Everyone serves the good wine first, and then the inferior wine after the guests have become drunk. But you have kept the good wine until now.' Jesus did this, the first of his signs, in Cana of Galilee, and revealed his glory; and his disciples believed in him.
After this he went down to Capernaum with his mother, his brothers, and his disciples; and they remained there for a few days.
I'm not sure what was going on in this story. Jesus has gone to a wedding with His mother, Mary. I know wedding customs are a lot different than they are now, but there is no mention of the rest of the family - where are his brothers, where is Joseph? I do know that wedding festivals were huge then - a social event for the whole community. At any rate, only Jesus and Mary are there. And one of the most important customs of the time is being violated - the groom ran out of wine!
Now, before you have that knowing kind of laugh - wedding celebrations did not last just a day (or evening) in those times; they were often week long festivities. And to run out of the basic beverage of choice would be a huge social blunder; and it would mean the end of the wedding celebration. Mary, knowing her Son was special, and perhaps also knowing that He could do something about it, said to Him, "They have no wine." And Jesus, knowing that Mary expected something of Him, said back, "Woman, what concern is that to you and to me?"
Did you note a hint of sarcasm? Sigh, the dynamics of mother and Son - even God's Son, are persistent. Jesus went on and said, "My hour has not yet come." But somehow mother knows best, and will prevail. "His mother said to the servants, 'Do whatever he tells you.'" Jesus proceeded to turn, 30 gallon rain water jugs of ordinary water into the finest wine anyone had tasted. It was the beginning of His ministry, according to John's Gospel. And in so doing the wedding celebration was not only able to continue, but be even more spectacular.
Even for God's Son the influence of a wise mother is important - especially when it comes to making sure that all the necessary social customs are to be followed.
3.) For the third episode we turn to the end of the twelfth chapter of Matthew:
And while Jesus was speaking to the Scribes and Pharisees, behold, His mother and His brothers stood outside, asking to speak to Him. But Jesus replied to the one who gave Him the message, "Who is My mother, and who are My brothers?" And stretching out His hand toward His disciples, He said, "Here are My mother and My brothers! For whoever does the will of My Father in Heaven is My brother and My sister, and My mother." . . . Matthew 12:46 - 50
At first hearing, those words certainly have a chilling effect. They have always been some of the most troublesome words Jesus spoke.
But suppose we look at this from another angle. Suppose we begin by asking what Mary and her sons were doing outside? Why did they call out to speak with Him, and not themselves go in to listen to Him? We know that because of His words and deeds, the Pharisees and the scribes were after Him. We know from the Gospel of John that even His brothers didn't believe in Him. And we know from Mark's Gospel that at one point His friends tried to stop Him, thinking that He was "beside Himself." So it's probably safe to assume that on hearing of His family's arrival, Jesus knew they had come not to open themselves to what He had to say, but rather to persuade Him to stop all this "wild-eyed radical preaching" and come home! And Mary probably wanted to remind Him of the backlog of carpentry orders waiting to be filled back in Nazareth.
Poor Mary.
Your heart has to go out to a mother who keeps hearing such terrible things about her son. But surrendering to her will was no answer. Had Jesus done what His mother wanted, He might have become the best carpenter in Nazareth; something quite noble, but rather paling in significance to saving the world.
It's a familiar story, isn't it, this conflict of visions, these conflicting demands of a heavenly and an earthly parent? If you try seriously to be a child of God, it is almost certain that a protective mother will try to protect both you and herself by pleading, "Play it safe, son (or daughter); don't climb out on a limb." Christians in the first few decades after Jesus' death and resurrection were so regularly misunderstood by their nearest and dearest that an early martyr exclaimed, "A Christian's only relatives are the saints."
Now, if we think about that, perhaps we can understand better those supposedly cruel statements of Jesus, such as, "those who love father and mother more than Me are not worthy of Me." Home is where the heart is, yes. But home can also be a bondage. Jesus understood these family tensions, so hard on all of us, whether we are parents or children.
But they are no harder for us than they must have been for Jesus. Catch the sorrow in His voice when He says, "A person's enemies will be those in His own household." Moreover, Jesus understood how often family tensions take the form of generational conflicts, for He Himself said, "I have come to set a man against his father and a daughter against her mother."
It's hard to realize when caught in the urgency of the moment with a rebellious child on your hands; but the truth is, had all children sought at all costs to avoid all generational conflicts, there probably would never have been an end to slavery nor to child labor; there never would have been school integration, an environmental movement, or reconciling churches.
"Those who love father and mother more than Me are not worthy of Me." Finally, it makes good sense, doesn't it?
Harsh? Yes.
Cruel? . . . perhaps . . . but true.
4.) Let's move on to the fourth and last episode.
But near the cross of Jesus stood His mother, and His mother's sister, Mary of Clopas, and Mary Magdalene. When Jesus saw His mother there, and the disciple whom He loved standing nearby, He said, "Mother, here is your son." And to the disciple, Jesus said, "Here is your mother." And from then on, Mary's home was with this disciple. . . . John 19:25b - 27
Only at the very end of His life does Jesus finally resolve the conflict with His mother, and then only on the cross. What could be harder for a mother to experience?
And Jesus speaks to His mother, referring to John. "Mother, here is your son." And then to John, "Son, here is your mother." That in this moment of agony Jesus could be so family oriented is extremely moving.
Apparently Mary is widowed, and Jesus is providing for economic well-being, according to Jewish Law. But beyond that, Jesus is providing for her spiritual well-being in a very interesting way. Now Mary too leaves her family and goes to John; and by urging her to join His disciples, Jesus includes her in his mission, thereby resolving the conflict between loyalty to her and loyalty to God.
Where do you suppose Mary's other children were - those who had been with Mary that day outside the synagogue, those brothers to whom a dying son would normally commend his mother? Probably they were still in Nazareth, cursing the "fool" to whom misfortune had related them. But not Mary. What she suspected at the beginning and doubted in the middle, she finally saw at the end. Her Son, clearly, had reached her. She is a new person. She is standing, we read, at the foot of the cross, not fainting; perhaps in distress too deep for tears, but also, at last, in all the legitimate pride of motherhood.
And notice that Jesus is not the least bit protective; He doesn't say, "Take her away, John, this is no sight for a mother's eyes to see." No, Mary has to suffer His sufferings and to translate them into the pangs of childbirth that will result in a new and larger family.
On this Mother's Day, let us remember that each of us is born of God, as well as of a woman. Each of us, whether we are parents or children, has dual citizenship, here and in the realm of God's Kingdom. Each of us has dual parentage with our earthly parents and our Creator God. Each of us has a dual membership in our family and in the world, that larger family so desperately in need of the beautiful love we see in the relationship of Mary and Jesus, mother and Son.